Posts Tagged ‘writing’

the world spins around me

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010

As the semester starts to get back into the swing of things, I keep worrying that I’ll lose control of my goals/things that might be goals, and make old mistakes.

Maybe it’s because I don’t know what I want, maybe it’s because I don’t really want it. Maybe it’s because I don’t know how to balance my wants with my desire to make others wants happen. Maybe “wanting” is stupid and superficial.

I feel like I’m already starting to just “go through the paces” of school. I don’t like this feeling. I don’t like “going through the paces”. I don’t like things always being the same.

Sameness is boring.

This contemplativeness, it’s either “not like me” or it is me. Thinking for the sake of thinking? Why? Why not? Where? How? Who? If?

Sparkling snow, lit by streetlights
streetlights, powered by electricity
electricity, same thing that’s running this computer that I write with now
computer, distraction, tool, friend
just called a computer ‘friend’.
sorta destroys the meaning of friend, when we can call inanimate, non-thinking objects our friends and people just smile and think “oh, he’s a computer science major”.

Isn’t it a bit… devaluing?

Sometimes I wish my brain was like snow on a sidewalk. I could just shovel all the stuff that’s pretty in it’s own right, but that gets in the way off to the side. It might ruin the purity and perfection of the newly fallen snow, but it wouldn’t bother me or others anymore. The only issue occurs once spring comes, and the snow melts away. All those ideas, lost in their current form, perhaps reconstituting another time to cause my life to be dreary, grey, and wet.

Wow, contemplative-me turned emo-me really, really fast.

color que sugiere color

Friday, October 30th, 2009

Seriously unsure as to whether or not I want to keep this up. I don’t know what it is, or where it came from. Enjoy, or don’t. Better yet, don’t read it. Or do. Whatever.

fog settling nonchalantly around the streetlamps

parking lot across the street covered in eerily fake white light

wet, but not too wet, dare I say enjoyably wet

copper haze encircling the the lamp sitting atop a metal pillar

rain: constant, grounding

fog: eerie, but somehow reassuring

night: dark, eveloping, colorless

it’s stabilizing, the lack of color. Real.

Nature doesn’t pretend, “this is what the world is

no false, unreachable goals” color is, or isn’t, nothing more

day: trees pretending to lead to something beautiful, brilliant.

just brown. dying leaves, grass, always rain.

————–

¿Porque la lluvia? ¿Porque las mentiras, esperanza falsa?

Prefiero el noche oscuro, real, basado en realidad. Hermoso.

Mañana todos volveremos al mentira, al color que sugiere color.

you fake it ’till you make it, that’s the story of your life

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

I really need to stop using song lyrics as post titles. Like, they’re fitting, but seriously, kinda cliche.

The school year has started again, and droves of new freshman are back on the $small_school campus, as well as most of the people who were here last year. Some of the freshmen probably think they know what they want to study, many probably don’t. Of those that do, a good portion will probably change their mind in their (approximately) 4 years here at $small_school. This is all ok, that’s part of what college is, right? That’s what we’re told, or at least, that’s what it felt like I was told for the 13 years I spend in the public (and quasi-private, but that’s another story) school system.

We’re told from a very young age that school is preparing us for life. In high school (or at least my high school, others might’ve been different), we were told that by the end of our four years there, we would be prepared for college, work, military, or whatever we wanted to do with our lives. I knew about halfway through high school that I wanted to study one of my current majors. People tell me I’m one of the lucky ones that knew what they wanted to “do” coming in. Now, did that mean I knew what I wanted my job to be for the rest of my life? Of course not, that would be silly.

Is it so silly to assume that I’ll know what I want to do, given that I’ve been told for a long time that I’m being “prepared for life”? Is it silly to think that after spending 13 years studying general subjects, and at least another 4 on a more specified subject area that I’ll have a goal of what I want to do with all this education? It doesn’t seem that silly. At least of the premises behind the educational system is to prepare a person for what they will do in later years. Obviously it’s better to be prepared for a field you enjoy than for a field you hate. But, at least for me, it comes down to what “prepared” means.

At the end of my four years at $small_school, will I have the skills needed to go out into the private sector into a Computer Science related job? More likely than not. Will I have the pre-requisite training to continue my education in graduate school? Very possibly. Does this mean I’m “prepared” for life? Does preparation mean “having the requisite skill-set”, or is there something deeper?

In various conversations I’ve had, I’m not the only one who isn’t sure what they want to be doing once they get out of $small_school, $medium_school, or $big_school. Clearly there are students who know what they want to do, some want to be a doctor, some want to go to grad school, some are working towards a job in journalism, and some have accepted their fate as art students who will have more difficulty finding a job in their field, but are ok with that because they love their art. But it seems as though the people who don’t know what they want to do outnumber the people who have a goal.

Is this inherently bad? No, I don’t think it is. I don’t think it’s good, but I don’t think it’s bad. Is it the job of the educational system to get students to a place where they have a starting place, and giving them the tools they need to move from there? Or is the job of the educational system strictly to give students the training to suceed in the marketplace? It seems as though $small_school takes the approach that their graduates should be fully prepared to take whatever life throws at them.

I will say, I acknowledge that this might be me turning a non-issue into an issue, because I’m trying to justify my own world spinning out of control, but I honestly think students reaching the end of their four years fit into one of three categories. 1) The students who know exactly what they want to to, 2) the students who don’t really know, but will get a job or go to grad school because it seems like the logical next step, or 3) the students who have no clue, and don’t know how to start deciding.

What’s the right answer? I don’t think there is one. Should students be pro-active in this process? Absolutely. Is this whole issue outside the domain of what the school system is striving to do? Very possibly.

Quite frankly, education and learning the content is probably the easier part of this equation.  How does one train a student to set a goal, work towards that goal, adapt should something in their plan change? How does one train a student to know what they want, or to know how to discover what they want? I’m not sure one can, but the school systems should stop professing to producing fully prepared students, or perhaps be more clear about what “prepared” means. Or maybe I should sleep more, and think less.

this thing still exists?

Sunday, June 7th, 2009

Apparently so. Past few weeks have been busy, what with spending time in the $cities (you’ll know what I mean by ‘the cities’, if you don’t, I’m not telling you) and going to a conference at Stanford University.

Time spent seeing my lady-friend was awesome, and makes the whole distance thing that much harder.

California was also awesome, good to see those people again, topics were informative, weather was nice and sushi was cheap. All around a good time.

I don’t really have a topic, I just realized I haven’t written in forever. Hopefully I’ll be able to come up with something soon.

TTFN

the role of the media

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

I find myself on a constant quest for new information, be it news, theories, whatever. Ultimately, I don’t really care what it is, but I want to know what’s happening, and I want to know it as soon as possible. Generally speaking, people get their information from the media. Whether it’s newspapers, watching news on tv, reading current events blogs, or listening to informational radio, people get their information from somewhere.

Because of this, the information people are fed has an inherent bias to it. It’s impossible for a writer to be completely objective, regardless of how hard they try. In order to be truly objective, the human element needs to be removed from something, because as humans, we process everything we’re told. So even in regurgitating news, we’re unintentionally passing on our own interpretation of what we were just told. It is arguably possible for people to move past the small bias that stems from an attempt to be objective (vs. a very large bias when no attempt to be objective is made), but it’s important to remember that there will always be bias.

However, there seems to be something else at play in the mainstream media. Yes, clearly there is bias, this has been established. However, it seems that certain types of media, particularly mainstream media, have other prioritites. Most mainstream news organizations are multi-national corporations. Take MSNBC for instance. It used to just be NBC. National Broacasting Corporation. Then deal was made with Microsoft, and the two corporations became partners, and MSNBC was born. Does this matter in the long run? Perhaps not, it’s conceivable that Microsoft just wanted name recognition and a news service for their search engine. However, it’s also conceivable (but perhaps unlikely) that Microsoft has a vested interest in the news that gets put out by MSNBC. I’m not insinuating that Microsoft is censoring news stories, or even that they’re actively putting “spin” on the news being reported. Would a writer for MSNBC tend towards writing favorably when discussing NBC or Microsoft, if only because these two partnered companies pay the writer?

Granted, this is all conjecture, and it sounds a bit “conspiracy-theorist”, but take it as an exercise for the reader. It seems that news sources aligning themselves with other organizations, even if it’s only monetarily, puts another level of inherent bias in the news, as presented to the consumer. Furthermore, these mainstream media companies are just that, companies. The bottom line of a company is to turn a profit. For media companies, this means maintaining subscribers, funding yourself with advertisements, etc. On a national level, in order to maintain subscribers/users, there is obviously a balance between what is actually happening, and what your readers care about. If readers stop caring about what a company is printing, the readers stop reading.

The independence of any news source is crucial to the ability of a news source to be objective. As stated, once a news source aligns itself with an organization or viewpoint, whether it’s monetarily, acting as a soap box for the organization or viewpoint, or even taking what the organization or viewpoint professes at face value, and re-reporting this, the objectivity is lessened. The mandate of any news source is to present the news to the public, in a “fair and balanced” (please ignore the Fox News connotation, as they are anything but) manner. A news source cannot, and should not claim to maintain a level of objectivity while aligned with any organization. Should an organization want to put their own subjective spin on what is happening within the organization, said organization perfectly capable or putting out their own news.

Furthermore, there’s an argument to be made that in the pursuit of objectivity, a news source should be playing devils advocate and asking the dissenting questions. It is arguably the job of a news source to question everything in public discourse, and act as a watchdog over things like government, corporations and businesses, police, politicians, and ultimately even the people themselves. This is the mandate of a news source, and nothing that I’ve seen has ever met this goal.

Consider for a moment the recent presidential election. The mainstream media, generally, was very pro-obama. I acknowledge, so was I. However, it seemed that the majority of what was being said about Obama, was what Obama’s campaign wanted said. No, I’m not insinuating that Obama’s campaign told the mainstream media exactly what to print. However, it does seem that the media took a majority of what was said at face value. I consider myself very left-leaning, but one has to wonder where the concept of “liberal media bias” stems from. Arguably, the mainstream media was fairly biased in favor of Obama (presumably because the previous 8 years left everyone jaded). This isn’t objectivity. This level of bias is a disservice to the public, to the Obama administration, and ultimately, to the news companies themselves.

what is stability?

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

Why is it that nice weather seems to make everything better? I’m more clear-headed, less worrisome, less filled with anxiety. The sun makes me want to run around and frolic (yes, I said frolic) instead of sitting at home and feeling… lonely? Feeling something that I don’t like, it’s not really lonely, but sort of it is.

Shouldn’t I be more stable overall? Shouldn’t I have control over my inner-me? Isn’t that what stable people do?

Inspired (sort of) by Martin

I stand here illuminated,

as though the sun has burned

all the pressure away.

It’s rays touching all,

leaving nothing dark

the path is clear, concise

I get to choose

static to noise ratio

Thursday, April 16th, 2009

I’ve been thinking recently about the concept of blogging, and what it means in certain contexts. In a lot of cases, bloggers are breaking news before mainstream news sources do. Other times, blogs are putting a new, different, perspective on something that is currently happening. It’s part of what happens on the internet, and it’s become almost common knowledge at this point.

You’ll find mainstream news sources picking up what prominent bloggers say, and using it as a source for their own reporting. Other times you find bloggers picking up what other bloggers are saying, and building off of that. It’s almost as though bloggers have become the front-line filter between what’s happening, and what gets reported.

Recently, one of my friends wrote about his thoughts on political issues, which he doesn’t normally do. I’ve been finding a lot of what this particular person writes to strike a certain chord with me, and it hits home more than what I find myself reading elsewhere. I acknowledge I’m biased, and I acknowledge that a lot of what he writes isn’t exactly synthesis of what’s going on around him, but more his general view on the world.

This concept made me wonder what bloggers are actually doing. Yeah, a lot of them are reporting things first, but many do also put their own outlook on it into their writing. In terms of fact, you tend to need to sift through the opinion stuff. That said, there’s a lot of good material, and many times, the opinions are well thought out.

What you’ll often see when reading through blogs is that they’re addressing a current political issue, seemingly in the hopes that someone, somewhere, will read what they have to say. I think this seems to be the crux of the issue. You find mainstream news sources (I’m looking at you CNN) occasionally taking posts from the internet (or blogosphere, if you prefer that term. I don’t) and using these posts as a basis for their reporting. How do they pick what they report on?

Because of the apparent level of opinion on a topic that gets put into blog posts, it’s clear that blogging isn’t just idle writing by people who are bored. It’s clear that people think they have an audience, or they wouldn’t continue doing it. Presumably these people’s audience tends to agree with the people writing, or they wouldn’t continue to read the writing. What this means, in the end, is that there are large amounts of people with similar opinions on issues, expressing these issues on the internet. One would think politicians would pay attention to this.

What seems curious to me is this: Arguably all of these bloggers, and readers, and commenters, and people linking to other blogs all have valid, viable opinions that are worth discussing. Why aren’t their views being discussed until after they filter through the mainstream news media? It seems as though it’s because there are just simply too many people, all talking at once. Consider for a second the general metaphor of signal in the noise (derived from old broadcasting terminology, the signal is what you’re looking for, the noise is a bunch of other junk that is also broadcast, but not useful). It seems, at least superficially, that all of these bloggers (and subsequently commenters, etc.) have opinions at least relatively worth listening to. If we follow the previously mentioned metaphor, all of these bloggers are signal.

Clearly there’s a lot of other stuff going on (the noise in our metaphor), but even still, the signal should be getting picked up. To a degree, it is. Things like the Huffington Post try to take the best of their pool of bloggers, and give it a public face. Places like CNN tend to take stories that are showing up in a lot of blogs, and synthesizing them further, then reporting them. Is this really where blogging is headed? Are bloggers really just the front-lines of news? Does news really have to go event->blogs (potentially repeated 10 times)->mainstream news->the masses? That’s potentially n+3 times of interpretation of what happens (where n is the number of bloggers the stuff goes through before it hits the final blogger that then causes mainstream news to pick it up).

I’m not sure what my point is, it’s 2:15am, and I should’ve been asleep an hour ago. Ultimately, it seems as though bloggers aren’t being heard the way they should be, which really boils down to the idea that the masses/governement/mainstream news isn’t really listening to the opinions of the people. Yes, bloggers have a lot of signal in the scheme of the overall broadcast, but I worry that even this signal from the bloggers is too noisy. That is, by the nature of blogging, and having lots of people doing it, the signal becomes a type of noise in it’s own right. How do we find the signal in the signal in the nosie?

i can haz gewd grammeh plz? kthxbai

Thursday, March 12th, 2009
to UMMSTUDENTS@lists.umn.edu
subject [UMMSTUDENTS] check boxes at po b4 lvg

Dear Students,

A reminder:   Please check your UMM post office boxes before leaving for spring break.
Have a wonderful spring break.

I want you to look at this email that I received from the school today. In particular, look at the subject like. More specifically, look at where it says “check boxes at po b4 lvg”. Now you see the issue. No? You don’t see the issue?

Let me explain. It’s very unfortunate that young people, as it stands currently, tend to use ‘txt speak’ when writing, either on instant messengers, using SMS (text messaging), and even email. The trends have shown that young people are using ‘txt speak’ more and more. Now, This doesn’t entirely annoy me (ok, it does, but that’s not what we’re talking about), because obviously SMS only allows messages to be sent using 160 characters or less. There is something to be said for shortening what you’ve written in order to make it fit the allotted length. There might even be something to be said about using bastardized abbreviations when using an instant messenger, to allow for quick responses while you’re working on other things.

I get angered/annoyed at my peers when they use ‘txt speak’ in normal conversations via instant messenger, it’s more forgivable when done via SMS, but it’s absolutely unacceptable in email. First, email has no character limit. Second, email is a medium intended for longer responses, and thus requires some attention when writing. By the time you’ve decided to write an email, you’re already opening up your mail client of choice, and you’ve already started the process.

Furthermore, one of the things that annoys me the most is when adults start using ‘txt speak’. Yes, it’s a little bit hypocritical, because it’s holding adults to a higher standard than I’m holding my peers to. With reason though. Adults haven’t grown up with technology in the same way myself and my peers have. Obviously there are exceptions to this rule, but overall, adults are less familiar with technology than those of my generation. Furthermore, for years it has been the adults who have been claiming that technology is ruining the English language, that students are to the point of submitting academic papers with abbreviations or ‘txt speak’ in them.

I agree, as it happens. ‘txt speak’ is causing my generation to write differently. I occasionally find myself writing ‘w/’ in a paper instead of ‘with’, but I go back and correct it, because I don’t want to ruin our language. I don’t want to devalue spelling/grammar, I think good writing skills is crucial to expression and communication.

My point is, it’s bad enough when my generation uses ‘txt speak’, because it means we’re moving towards bastardization of our language in the future. It’s worse when ‘adults’ (those older than my generation) use ‘txt speak’ (particularly in email), because it means they’ve already started corrupting the language, and my generation has a lot less work to do. This isn’t a good thing!

I propose an active movement on the part of my generation to fight against the ‘txt speak’ that seems so pervasive. Start using proper grammar, proper spelling, and proper punctuation.

Also, let me just say: inb4 ‘grammar nazi’, n00b.

Creativity

Saturday, November 29th, 2008

Every now and again, a mood will strike me, and I’ll start writing. Generally my writing consists of song lyrics, but occasionally it’ll be something else.

I say song lyrics, what I mean is that it’s intended to be lyrics, bit I’m not skilled enough to write music, so it essentially ends up being a poem. I guess i’d be ok with of being poetry, except that I wish I were creative enough to actually write the rest of the song. I hve musical trainig, I can play the saxophone, and I used to take piano lessons.

“Why not just do it?” most people ask me. I’m not entirely sure. When i’ve tried in the past, I haven’t been able to come up with a melody that hasn’t already been done. Even though “Hammertime” and “Super freak” use the same melody, I don’t want to steal someones melody, I want my stuff to be original.

I know people with guitar skills, who could help me whip up a melody. I don’t hve anyjong against these people, they’re some of good friends. However, I tend to write lyrics that are pretty personal, content-wise, and I feel weird sharing them with someone, because it would most likely mean singing alongside some guitar part.

I’m also not sure that if I got help with writing the melody, if I might feel like the song wasn’t really mine anymore. I guess this is probably still related to the idea that the lyrics I write are very personal, because they tend to be centered around an emotion, as compared to an event.

I wish I were more creative, more capable of building something that other people enjoy. I can knit, I can program, and I can play music. These are either not terribly entertaining, or non-original. Perhaps there’s a way to change this, take lessons in composition or something. I feel like a composition class would be all music theory, which I find incredibly boring.

Oh well, I guess for now, I’m stuck being my non-creative self. I’ll find some other way to get my “voice” heard, or something.

-JTS