Posts Tagged ‘college’

you fake it ’till you make it, that’s the story of your life

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

I really need to stop using song lyrics as post titles. Like, they’re fitting, but seriously, kinda cliche.

The school year has started again, and droves of new freshman are back on the $small_school campus, as well as most of the people who were here last year. Some of the freshmen probably think they know what they want to study, many probably don’t. Of those that do, a good portion will probably change their mind in their (approximately) 4 years here at $small_school. This is all ok, that’s part of what college is, right? That’s what we’re told, or at least, that’s what it felt like I was told for the 13 years I spend in the public (and quasi-private, but that’s another story) school system.

We’re told from a very young age that school is preparing us for life. In high school (or at least my high school, others might’ve been different), we were told that by the end of our four years there, we would be prepared for college, work, military, or whatever we wanted to do with our lives. I knew about halfway through high school that I wanted to study one of my current majors. People tell me I’m one of the lucky ones that knew what they wanted to “do” coming in. Now, did that mean I knew what I wanted my job to be for the rest of my life? Of course not, that would be silly.

Is it so silly to assume that I’ll know what I want to do, given that I’ve been told for a long time that I’m being “prepared for life”? Is it silly to think that after spending 13 years studying general subjects, and at least another 4 on a more specified subject area that I’ll have a goal of what I want to do with all this education? It doesn’t seem that silly. At least of the premises behind the educational system is to prepare a person for what they will do in later years. Obviously it’s better to be prepared for a field you enjoy than for a field you hate. But, at least for me, it comes down to what “prepared” means.

At the end of my four years at $small_school, will I have the skills needed to go out into the private sector into a Computer Science related job? More likely than not. Will I have the pre-requisite training to continue my education in graduate school? Very possibly. Does this mean I’m “prepared” for life? Does preparation mean “having the requisite skill-set”, or is there something deeper?

In various conversations I’ve had, I’m not the only one who isn’t sure what they want to be doing once they get out of $small_school, $medium_school, or $big_school. Clearly there are students who know what they want to do, some want to be a doctor, some want to go to grad school, some are working towards a job in journalism, and some have accepted their fate as art students who will have more difficulty finding a job in their field, but are ok with that because they love their art. But it seems as though the people who don’t know what they want to do outnumber the people who have a goal.

Is this inherently bad? No, I don’t think it is. I don’t think it’s good, but I don’t think it’s bad. Is it the job of the educational system to get students to a place where they have a starting place, and giving them the tools they need to move from there? Or is the job of the educational system strictly to give students the training to suceed in the marketplace? It seems as though $small_school takes the approach that their graduates should be fully prepared to take whatever life throws at them.

I will say, I acknowledge that this might be me turning a non-issue into an issue, because I’m trying to justify my own world spinning out of control, but I honestly think students reaching the end of their four years fit into one of three categories. 1) The students who know exactly what they want to to, 2) the students who don’t really know, but will get a job or go to grad school because it seems like the logical next step, or 3) the students who have no clue, and don’t know how to start deciding.

What’s the right answer? I don’t think there is one. Should students be pro-active in this process? Absolutely. Is this whole issue outside the domain of what the school system is striving to do? Very possibly.

Quite frankly, education and learning the content is probably the easier part of this equation.  How does one train a student to set a goal, work towards that goal, adapt should something in their plan change? How does one train a student to know what they want, or to know how to discover what they want? I’m not sure one can, but the school systems should stop professing to producing fully prepared students, or perhaps be more clear about what “prepared” means. Or maybe I should sleep more, and think less.

i’m sick and tired of being sick and tired

Sunday, August 30th, 2009

I was, initially, very unsure of whether or not I wanted to come back to $small_town, because I’ve been living in small towns for far too long, seemingly. I still don’t like small towns, and I don’t have plans to live in one for the rest of my life (clearly).

However, upon arriving in said $small_town, and seeing people (some of whom don’t live here). I think I’ve reached an epiphany. Spending time with people, and seeing Cloud Cult, and watching people (different people than the people I was spending time with), it seems as though, wait for it: people are just people. I mean, let me rephrase that, sort of. Everyone is just a person, regardless of what they’re doing. The people in Cloud Cult are just that, people, despite the spectacular music they produce.

It seems as though the way people interact with others is defined by their interpretations of who the other person/people is/are. So, for instance, talking to a professor, most people (and I did) have predisposed ideas about what a professor is, and you treat the professor accordingly.

Deep, right? Well, it’s not, but it seemed that way when I “discovered” it. It struck me as interesting that we define our interactions based on our own ideas of who someone is. Not how that person defines themselves, and not going into the interaction with a completely open mind and seeing where it goes.

What this means, at least in my context, is that I’m now more conscious. I’m not interested in judging people based on “who they are”, I’m interested in having a conversation/connection with them, as people. Everyone has a life story, let that define them, not what your pre-conceived notions of them are. It’s refreshing, in a way, because a lot of my angst-inducing stuff recently (within the past year?) seems to be centered around what other people thought of who I was, sort of. Or rather, I never felt like I was getting enough out of whatever I was doing. I sort of felt like I was drifting aimlessly, not really finding anything meaningful (outside of one person who I don’t see enough, my family, and other select few).

So, I guess what I’m trying to get at is that the way people interact gives meaning to that interaction, and then many interactions give meaning to day to day life. So, does this mean that my conclusion is that our lives are meaningless without interactions with others? No, but I’m not sure why. I’m sure I’ll get there, but that’s outside this scope.

In short, I need to re-adjust the way I’m looking at life. I don’t like this sort of “inherent instability” in the way life is happening.

how much work should be put in if the end isn’t worth it?

Thursday, April 16th, 2009

the title is a lot more depressing then I meant it to be. I didn’t get the UROP money (Undergraduate Research Opportunity Program) that I’d applied for, but there’s another round for spring only projects (which is what mine was anyway, due to being abroad in the fall).

My title raises a… well, some sort of point. Many would argue that if you know the end result, and it’s not what you want it to be, why put in the effort? On the other hand, you can’t know the end result, because it depends on the effort. Sometimes, despite the effort you put in, things still don’t go the way you want them to. Does this mean your effort has been for nothing?

I’m being too introspective, for no real resason. I’m kinda bummed about not getting UROP, but there’s another opportunity, and I think Summer of Code (if I get it) will help in this regard.

Monday, March 30th, 2009

This is… I don’t really know, lines I started writing down in Spanish class today. It kind of fits together, but I also kind of feel like it should be split into two. I don’t know, I was musing about how, at least for me, everything in my life seems to be either on or off, very binary in nature. This is what came of that musing. Enjoy, or don’t. Feedback would be nice, but not expected.

I find myself writing less

when my worry is replaced with stress

This extreme pattern takes my life

along as it throws itself from a cliff

Is intensity the way it will be?

with no grey area, no in between

either up or down, 1 or 0

this binary setting is or isn’t

Sleepy

Friday, November 14th, 2008

I realized today that when you see people on the street, you wave, you say “hi”, they respond in kind. When starting a conversation however, usually the phrase used is “How are you?” I’ve realized more and more, when you’re talking to college students, what you generally hear is “I’m alright, kinda tired”. This is so frequent in fact, that it’s become normal.

College students should be used to being tired, it’s their normal state. Most people presumably base their answers to “How are you?” on some percieved normal state, that they can then be ‘better’ or ‘worse’ than. It’s a reference point. Being tired is the college students reference point. It makes things easier, and it doesn’t lead to the overuse of the phrase “I’m tired”. Using a different reference point would, thereby de-valuing the phrase.

So really, all you college students out there, just accept that ‘tired’ is your natural state, and there’s not really a way to change that. Although, I suppose ‘hungry’ is also a valid natural state. Either way, use one of the two as a reference point, and base everything else from there. It’ll make things easier for everyone.

-JTS